planning for deployment...

Wow!  It amazes me how things can change over the course of one week!  While nothing is absolutely official yet, Tom has been informed that he will be deploying with his unit to Afghanistan in July of this year.  As Tom puts it, "Its not official 'till I'm in the bird and we're taking off."  Regardless, this is what he's been told, and therefore, what we are planning and preparing for.  What does that mean exactly?  It means that

BELLA AND I ARE GOING TO NORTH CAROLINA!!!!! 

We want to be sure that we spend some precious quality time with Tom before he leaves to serve and protect or country.  What I'm preparing for is Bella and I moving out there for 6-8 weeks prior to his departure date (which we estimate is July 1st).  And what does that mean exactly?
It means that I've got a number of bases to cover before we depart:

1) Find a temporary replacement for myself at work from May-June
Jade has graciously afforded this time off to me.  I will be coming back during the 6-8 weeks to perform some of my duties that we feel would be easier for me to return to do rather than train the temp to do.

2)Inform Bella's school that she'll be ending the year early.
Bella's school year ends on May 24th.  We would be leaving a few weeks before then which means she'll miss out on her graduation ceremony. 

3)Inform my church family of our plans and ask for prayer.
I'll have to be taken off of the preschool teaching schedule and the praise team for May, June and possibly July. 

4)Set and actual departure date and determine what stays and what goes.
Being that we'll only be gone for 2 months, its not like we'll need everything including the kitchen sink.  It might include sending a few boxes over parcel post, but who knows. 

Items 1 and 2 are already well under way.  Today I interviewed an amazing candidate that I came across through a staffing agency.  She was laid off due to the economic downturn, but the woman actually has WAY more experience than I do!  Twenty years and a degree more experience!!  I really liked her and think she would be a great fit here.  I've also talked to the director at Bella's school.  They have agreed to pro-rate the month of May and to keep her slot open for the Pre-K 4 year.
Items 3 and 4 can get underway!  I am absolutely elated to be FINALLY going to be with my husband.  I am not going to worry about what we'll do if he ends up not being deployed.  I will do as it says in Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore I say to you do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Clenched Fists and Butterfingers

You know what happens when we hold on to something too tightly?  We crush it.  Deprive it of air.  Forbid it of room to move, grow, adapt or change altogether.

You know what happens when we hold on to something to loosely?  It slips through our fingers and dissipates.  Evaporates.  Becomes nothing.  Lost forever to any opportunity to move, grow, adapt or change altogether.

My point is this:  We can't hold on to things too tightly or too loosely.  We need to cradle and uplift these "things" - whatever they may be - and hold them in such a way that will allow them to be molded by God.  Ultimately, everything is a result of His planning.  Imagine then, that as you hold up your "thing", He holds His hands gently and warmly around yours.  You can try as you might to break away from those hands, but it will always be in vain.  May as well just relax into Him, allow Him to take control and rely in the knowledge that He knows whats best for you.

Once-A-Month Cooking Day!!!

So today is my OAMC (Once-A-Month Cooking) day!  Before I begin, I have to give credit where credit is due.  This is all a result of my sister Tia's encouragement and experimentation.  I had never heard of this brilliance before she mentioned it, and would have never tried it had she not let me borrow her book the last time I went to see Tom.  Today is not the first time I've done some OAM cooking, but it is the first time I've done the WHOLE month.  When I did this for Tom, I think I only made 6 or 7 meals, whereas this time I'm making 20.  The reason for this is because my parents left last night for close to 5 weeks on the mainland which means I am left to care for all the children, pets and the household, while working full time, selling Avon, being active in the church and carting the girls to their various activities.  I don't want to have to worry about what I'm cooking for dinner each day, but instead will follow a simple schedule I've devised for each week which merely consists of thawing and reheating these pre-cooked meals.  My sister's blog Fits and Giggles of the Hawaiian Heldts has some AWESOME links and information if this is something you're interested in.  Just click on this link : OAMC Part II.
My goal for this month is to eat home-cooked meals 4 days a week, eat leftovers 2 days a week and then eat out the last day. 

Today I will be cooking:
1.  Spaghetti
2.  French Bread Pizza
3.  Meatloaf
4.  Stuffed Shells
5.  Teriyaki Burgers
6.  Chicken Broccoli Casserole
7.  Chicken Nuggets
8.  Chicken Supreme
9.  Creamy Chicken Enchiladas
10.Garlic Cheddar Chicken
11.Sour Cream Chicken
12.Ham Dinner Slices
13.Meal-on-the-Run Pork Loin
14.Stuffed Pork Chops
15.Upside-Down Fettucine Bake
16.Baked Herb Fish Fillets
17.Baked Mediterranean Cod
18.Grilled Fish
19.Orecciette with Tuna
20.Kielbasa with Saurkraut

Just as Tia said, let me know if you have any questions.  This would benefit any person in any situation: single, married - with or without children, working moms or stay-at-home!  Well, I'm off to the kitchen...

He must increase, but I must decrease

I have to believe it was God's intention that I came across an absolute blessing of a blog last week.  Through the heaviness of my heart this past month, I have been reading His word and praying constantly.  I was searching and pleading for His strength to get me through - all the while acting in blindness and numbness to His loving arms that had already carried me so far.  How small my faith was these past few weeks!  My pitiful prayers should never have been that of "help me out of this, Lord, bring an end to this sadness," but instead I should have been all the while singing praises to His name and asking "what is Your will in all of this and what would You have me learn?"  I feel that same embrassement of a reprimand from a parent to a child when they say "you know better than that".  And I do.  He knew me (and all of us) before I was born and as it says in Psalm 139, "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Bringing that to light, I can look over my shoulder at the scripture I have tacked up at my desk from Jeremaiah 29:11 and feel it renewed in my heart.  " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "

So even in my deep sadness, last week, the Lord showed Himself to me as the All-Knowing, All-Loving and All-Caring, God of Wonders that He is.  

My husband and I were only married 135 days ago, on September 19th, 2009.  Two weeks after our honeymoon, I returned to Hawaii and Tom returned to Fort Bragg, North Carolina.  While we have visited briefly a few times in the interim, this separation has been almost unbearable.  It has been hard on not only the two of us, but on our daughter, Annabella (3 years old) as well.  I had Bella in 2006, while I was in a previous, and greatly sinful relationship.  Tom has been amazing with her  - beyond anything I could ever hope for.  He anxiously awaits the day when he can legally adopt her and give her our last name.

Tom and I recieved, as one of our wedding gifts, The Couple's Devotional Bible.  Tom, at that time, revealed to me that this was something he was interested in doing together.  This thrilled my heart - and yet I was unsure of how we would manage it being 6000 miles apart.  Fast forward to last week.   Tom and I were on the phone (we spend HOURS on the phone every week) and he expressed that we should get a second copy of the devotional bible so that even over the phone, we could begin to do them together!  I praised the Lord for that - and still praise Him - for touching Tom's heart and allowing him to be open and receptive to His word.  Tom also purchased a men's daily devotional and a really cute book called "100 Verses Every Dad Needs to Know."  God is GOOD!  Tom knows my desire (and God's) for him to be the true HOH.  I am thrilled to see the beginning of His working in Tom's life, and ours.

Then I happened to be cruising through the blogs that I follow, and noticed a link to  CWO (Christian Women Online).  So I cruised on that website for a while and noticed - admittedly because of the font first (I used it repeatedly in my wedding), and then because of the title of it second.  It is called A Wife's Biblical Submission (I also have the button to the website on the right side of my blog).  This is something I've been interested in for quite some time - even before I was married.  I know myself as a leader, and one who is headstrong and stubborn.  Moreover, I knew the moment that I was engaged to become Tom's wife, that I needed to learn how to change.  I cannot attribute finding this blog to chance.  It was God's beckoning to me, that as Tom begins his education, I would begin mine too.

There is much that I desire for our marriage.  Not to say that it doesn't already consist of a lot, but my desires lie in the biblical sense.  I know our marriage is still new, but what an awesome way to grow our relationship, right from the start.  Perhaps we have been given this time apart - though it is difficult - to grow in the Lord both individually, and as one, at the same time.  I get the imagery of two plants, both growing and reaching toward the sun (the Son :) ) while at the same time, the roots, connected as one entity, grow deeper and stronger into the soil.

I am thrilled to be starting this journey.