Here in beautiful Hawaii I have a wonderful job. The benefits are amazing, my co-workers are really cool, and the pay is well above-par. I have the blessing of attending and being active in the church I was raised in. I teach the preschool Sunday School on a rotation with a few other women and I sing in the praise team with an awesome group of people. My daughter attends a really great Grace Brethren preschool right around the corner from my workplace. She attends gymnastics twice weekly and participates in the Awana program at a church right around the corner from our own. I have a dog here. A black pomeranian, and her name is Lady. I live with my parents and will be the first to admit that while it can be stressful at times, I am very well taken care of. But I would gladly trade all of this.
To be with Tom, my husband. I am here in beautiful Hawaii with this life, and he is stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. He gets out of the army in March of 2011, a little over a year from now. Before we got married, I thought we could survive with just visiting each other until he got out. On our honeymoon, I quickly determined that being apart would never work. I don't feel whole without him by my side. Something shifted inside me once we were married and I was forced to see that Tom and I should not be apart for any length of time. Ever. Now for you extremists out there, don't think that I mean he and I should be attached at the hip. I mean that we should not be living in separate homes, in separate cities, in separate states, thousands of miles apart. I don't work without him. He doesn't work without me. Together we work.
We will find out sometime either this month or in February if he will be deployed for the third time in his career. He's done one tour each in Iraq and Afghanistan. This would be for Afghanistan again. We have a few options depending on what the army decides. If they do send him down-range, he would leave at the beginning of July. Bella and I would join him for approximately 8 weeks prior to his departure to spend that time as a family. Although, perhaps 12 weeks would be better and I could move out there in April.... The alternative is if the army decides not to deploy him. I would need to decide when we would join Tom in NC. In an ideal scenario, I would leave as soon as Bella was done with her school year at the end of May. That would put me there for a good 10 months. I would have a lot to take care of here in Hawaii before departing for that length of time, but I think in Gods hands, anything can be accomplished. I've been told I'll have a job to return to, and that in itself is an amazing blessing.
I hate hate hate this situation. I loathe it. I don't know why I ever thought we'd be able to handle the first 18 months of our marriage apart. All I DO know is that my instincts are telling me to run to him. Leave and cleave baby, leave and cleave.